Selecting the people you want in your wedding party is no small task, and one that many couples find stressful. There’s a lot of thought that goes into the process, and today we want to help make that easier for you. We are going to talk about the important things to consider when choosing your wedding party. Hopefully, by the end of this post, it will be obvious to you who you should choose!

Is it ok to have an uneven number of guys and girls in your wedding party?

It’s easy to feel the pressure to have an even amount of attendants on each side, even if that means including someone that you weren’t really planning on having in the wedding party. Some people have really big friend groups or large families and it’s hard to imagine leaving any one of them out. 

Recently, more couples are opting to take the laid-back approach and instead of choosing an even number of attendants, they chose to have their best peeps stand up for them, even if that means they have 2 on one side and 3 on the other. 

If the idea of an uneven wedding party just doesn’t sit right with you, that’s ok! There are other options, and always more roles to be assigned. For example, you could have 3 bridesmaids, and 3 groomsmen, and assign the other two guys as ushers; or even flower guys (which is a trend that has really taken off lately).

Some couples opt just to have one of each and allow the rest of their friends and family to enjoy the wedding from the audience. This can work really well if choosing more people is just too overwhelming (sorry, cousin Ruth!)

Another fun trend we have seen lately is the “something blue crew”. Basically, you have a small wedding party stand up with you at the front, and get everyone else to dress in blue. They still dress in wedding formal attire and don’t have to match, but it’s just a fun little way to acknowledge their place in your life. You could take it a step further and have something unique for them to do, or a separate table at the reception…a trend like this has no lack of potential creativity!

We understand that choosing your wedding party is a tough decision, especially if you feel like you might hurt people’s feelings. Ultimately though, it is a decision that you and your partner have to make, working within the vision and budget for your wedding.

Get creative with an uneven wedding party

Throughout the course of the day, how do you arrange an uneven wedding party so that the photos and aesthetic of the wedding still look good? We’ve got some ideas!

The processional: Contrary to popular belief, the wedding party doesn’t have to walk down the aisle coupled up. You can make an uneven wedding party work well by sending them down separately! For example, have the groom walk down rather than just standing at the front from the beginning. Send the groomsmen down behind him, then have him bro hug each guy as they reach the front and take their places. Then you have the bridesmaids come out, leading the way for the bride to make her grand entrance! Here are more creative ways to introduce your bridal party too. 

This might sound stereotypical, but it can be really nice for the bridesmaids to have that moment where they are walking down by themselves. After all, a lot went into their dress and makeup, and it’s nice to take an extra minute to appreciate all of those little things. 

One more thing to note: having the groups come out separately gives the opportunity to use some fun songs for each, or if you prefer an elegant ceremony, stick to instrumental versions (you can read our top recommendations in this post!).

The photos: Lots of experienced wedding photographers are used to uneven wedding parties. Talk to your photographer beforehand to let them know the situation so they can be prepared with how they will pose the photos. A simple Pinterest search can give you some ideas too!  

The reception: You can have your entire wedding party sit at the sweetheart table if you like, or try something different!

Have the sweetheart table reserved for just you and your partner, or maybe bring your maid of honor and best man in too. The rest of the wedding party can have either a separate table especially for them or they can sit with their plus one anywhere in the room. 

Find more ideas for creative seating plans here.

Unique wedding party numbers call for creative solutions, and thankfully, there are no rules. Whatever feels right to you is the right choice for your wedding!

Choosing the maid (matron) of honor and the best man

The maid of honor (or matron of honor if she’s married) stays busy on the day of your wedding, and it’s important to choose someone that you trust and get along well with! Some of the traditional maid of honor duties are:

• Planning the bachelorette party
• Keeping the bride hydrated
• Helping the bride get ready
• Assisting the bride when she has to use the restroom
• Helping the bride bustle her dress after the ceremony as well as fixing it during the ceremony
• And generally staying aware of areas where the bride needs help. 

One time we did an outdoor wedding, and it got windy. After a few mishaps where the wedding dress blew forward and the maid of honor tried putting it back, she subtly put her foot on the edge of the dress to prevent it from flying back up. It was a gesture that almost no one noticed, but it made such a huge difference in both the bride’s comfort level and the photos. 

An attentive maid of honor can be invaluable on your wedding day!

The best man has similar responsibilities (minus the bathroom help) to the groom. While their favorite task is generally planning the bachelor party, they can be a huge help on the wedding day too. The best man will:

• Help keep the groom on schedule
• Carry the rings securely
• Making sure the groom has remembered everything on his wedding day checklist
• And like the maid of honor, just generally being attentive to anything the groom may need during the day.

Buying gifts for the wedding party

Buying gifts for your wedding party doesn’t need to break the bank, but it is a nice way to show that you appreciate everything they have done to help you get to this day. 

What should you get? That is 100% up to you, and there are no wrong answers, but here are a few ideas that we love!

A wedding day essentials gift pack: The wedding day is going to be a big day for everyone involved, and a gift set with some essentials in it can be very welcome! You could include a personalized tumbler, some snacks, slippers for when their feet get sore, and a personalized thank you note.

Personalized gifts: You can order almost anything with personalization these days, and it can make a gift extra special. Some of our favorites that we have seen are:

• Beer Steins with their name or nickname
• Cowboy hats with the personalization “branded” onto the back
• T-shirts or sweatshirts
• Cufflinks
• Earrings or other jewelry 
• Makeup bag or other bag of some sort

What energy is your wedding party going to bring?

One final thing to consider when you are choosing your wedding party is what kind of energy they will bring to the day. 

As fun as your wedding is, it is also stressful trying to make sure you don’t forget anything. Having the right person around you can make a huge difference in your stress level.

You may have friends who we would like to have as a maid of honor, but they are going through something in their personal life that would make it hard for them. For example, a demanding schedule in their job, or a new baby. In those cases, it can be more enjoyable for both of you to assign them a different role or honor them in another way instead of asking them to take on the responsibility that comes with that role. 

Ultimately you want people in your wedding party who are responsible and bring a good energy that helps you manage your stress. 

Speaking of energy, when it comes to the dance part of the night, the wedding party can really make or break it. If you are looking to party all night long, make sure your wedding party knows that and is willing to rise to the challenge. Often they are the first ones on the dance floor, and if they are all jazzed up and ready to dance, the other guests will feed off that energy and join in!

The Most Important Thing to consider

The most important thing to consider when choosing your wedding party is that you will be spending a lot of time with them in the months leading up to the wedding and on the day itself and you deserve to have supportive, helpful people in that role. 

Take some time to thoughtfully plan out who you and your partner would like to stand by your side as you say your vows, put your blinders on, and stick with your choice. It’s your day, after all! 

For more ideas and helpful tips, be sure to follow us on our social channels, or check out the resources on our website!

Happy wedding planning!

The Wedding Duo: A Wedding Planning Podcast