Once you start making wedding decisions, it can appear like you’re never going to stop. No sooner have you finished your guest list than it’s time to choose a venue or book yet another vendor. And though you and your partner love each other more than anything, you don’t always agree, adding yet another hurdle to an obstacle course that seems like it’s designed for you to fail.

Let us reassure you that, though wedding planning is challenging and often requires compromise, you aren’t doomed to spending your entire engagement at odds with each other. There’s a better way! From conflict management strategies to our wedding planning membership, we want to equip you to handle disagreements like a pro. The day of your dreams awaits you on the other side!

Common Wedding Planning Disagreements

Engaged couples most commonly disagree on their wedding’s budget, guest list, or style. Budget disagreements often stem from different comfort levels with spending, while guest list stress usually arises because the couple’s vision and their family’s expectations don’t align. When one person wants a traditional wedding, and the other would rather have a casual or modern celebration, style disagreements can arise. If you can relate to one or more of these disagreements, know this: they’re so normal. The key to overcoming them is focusing on shared desires and priorities, rather than trying to “win” any single decision.

How to Discuss Wedding Decisions

The best way to discuss and ultimately make wedding decisions without causing unnecessary tension is to lead with shared goals. In other words, don’t jump right into the nitty-gritty of decision-making! Instead, talk about how you want the day to feel and what matters most to both of you. Don’t concern yourselves with diving into the numbers or Pinterest just yet—that can come later.

When disagreements inevitably crop up, navigate them as a team. Use “we” more than you use “I,” stay curious about your partner’s vision of how the day could be, and remember that there’s no such thing as a right or a wrong preference. These tools will help keep the conversation collaborative instead of combative. In wedding planning and in life, when couples focus on the many ways they align instead of the few ways they disagree, decisions tend to feel far easier and less emotional.

How to Compromise

Sometimes, a good old-fashioned compromise is the best way to resolve a disagreement. This starts with giving each partner space to name what matters most to them. Once you know each other’s non-negotiables, you can commit to being flexible everywhere else. Look at decisions through the lens of their impact on the budget, overall experience, and your respective stress levels—this can make trade-offs clearer. Most of all, instead of splitting every decision down the middle, aim to create a day that reflects both of you. This will make the compromises you do have to make feel more intentional.

When to Bring In a Third Party

Bringing in a neutral third party makes sense when the conversation starts going in circles, emotions are heightened, or outside opinions are creating confusion. A planner can help you find a resolution that prioritizes your shared goals, while a trusted family member who respects your boundaries can act as a mediator. Choose someone who will support your vision, rather than add their own opinion. You want their guidance to bring calm and clarity—not more tension!

Make Well-Informed Wedding Decisions with the Membership

Inside the Wedding Duo Membership, you’ll get personalized advice from a married planner-and-DJ duo (yep, that’s us!). Our weekly Q&A call, available exclusively to members, is a safe space for navigating disagreements. Plus, our lesson plans help prevent conflict by providing the clarity and structure couples need to succeed at DIY wedding planning. Don’t go another day making wedding decisions without guidance—join the Membership today for $27!